Maxiavelli: Satirising the Rightist Platitude

Carnival Clowns by Willem Cornelisz Duyster

As a right winger, the rightist demagogy can be both eviscerating & embarrassing.  
This month, Maxiavelli satirises the European Right Wing Triteness – enjoy!

Illegal Immigration
Commentator: I am not sure sending immigrants back to their countries of origin where they do not stand a chance is the right thing to do. Let’s give them amnesty because at least, here, their rights won’t be violated and we can benefit from of those with skills.
Rightist: we simply cannot have immigrants coming here and taking away the jobs that nationals desperately need!
Commentator: but most of them do the jobs that nationals reject or are unskilled for; therefore they fill in a gap.
Rightist: first, nationals do not reject jobs; for there are no jobs to be rejected. Second, even though we disinvest in education, nationals will eventually acquire skills. Hence, jobs cannot be filled in by foreigners. We must secure jobs for the nationals & foreigners must go home!
Commentator: you do realise you are being racist and promoting xenophobia…
Rightist: if being racist means securing jobs for the nationals, then I am one!

Pro-Israel Stance
Interlocutor: what is your opinion about the Palestinian-Israeli conflict?
Rightist: I am totally pro-Israel. Palestinians are an invented people and have no place in the historical land of Israel, besides they are terrorists and are in the way of our plans.
Interlocutor: we are all invented people. But what plans are those exactly?
Rightist: we were invented centuries ago, whereas the Palestinians were invented 60 years ago; there’s a difference. Our plans are to have a full-secured Israel so that the Jews have a place to go.
Interlocutor: let me get this straight; you are pro-Israel because you want to ship all Jews to Israel?
Rightist: there are, à-peu-près, 15 million Jews in the world (and the way they fornicate and breed there will be much more soon); we have to send them somewhere, don’t we? We might as well send them back to their original homeland.
Interlocutor: you sound rather fascist.
Rightist: pretty face, the facts are the facts. And let me tell you a secret: deep down most of us agree with that homo-Hitler.

Debate: Left vs. Right
Leftist: the government must raise taxes to the rich.
Rightist: don’t be stupid!
Leftist: the government must cut the defence budget: we want peace.
Rightist: that is the most ignorant thing I have ever heard! You will get us all killed.
Leftist: employers are exploiting workers. Increase the minimum wage (€475 [+/-$593]).
Rightist: don’t be ridiculous; if we increase the minimum wage we will see companies shutting down one after the other. Workers exploit employers!
Leftist: the government should ban pork in public schools as a sign of respect toward Jewish and Muslim children.
Rightist: I’d say this is another attempt to encroach upon our traditions in the name of multiculturalism! Jewish and Muslim children are a minority why should they be respected at all?
Leftist: you do not care about the people. Your main concern is keeping the rich happy and even richer; confess it! Tell us the truth, here and now!!!
Rightist: the country couldn’t care less about the truth (or falsehood, for all that matter), old chap. All the country cares to know is that we are the best in solving any sort of crisis; we are the only ones upholding family values and giving full power to the Church: a recipe for national success!

“Make the lie big, make it simple, keep saying it, and eventually they will believe it” – Adolf Hitler

Comments

  1. Max, this is the best satire of the right wing I have ever read, lass! I laughed to tears. You are right, many rightists are anti-semitic, they make a mess of immigration (they forget that immigrants help develop our nations), in many countries they continue defending low wages to favour groups of interests and they are homophobic - a total disaster!
    The final quote goes to show that there is no difference between most of them and most leftists: they lie when seeking to reach their goals.
    Well done!

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    Replies
    1. Hi Joe :D!

      "Max, this is the best satire of the right wing I have ever read, lass! I laughed to tears."

      I am glad you liked it *bowing*.

      "You are right, many rightists are anti-semitic, they make a mess of immigration (they forget that immigrants help develop our nations), in many countries they continue defending low wages to favour groups of interests and they are homophobic - a total disaster! "

      They are, aren't they? And to think that many in Israel fall for their platitude and flattery *nodding*.

      "The final quote goes to show that there is no difference between most of them and most leftists: they lie when seeking to reach their goals. Well done!"

      Right? I was surprised to realise that both sides share many theories (dangerous ones). Thanks, my friend :).

      Joe, thank you ever so much for your fabulous comment :D.

      Cheers

      Delete
  2. Ahahahahah, Max...Max...Max, I always suspected that some right wingers' support for Israel was based on the desire to ship all Jews there ahaha, they are that afraid of us, hein? Well, at least they changed their mind and don't want to do like Hitler. As for immigration, I agree with Joe: the right wing confuses everything concerning immigrants...but let's face, sometimes they are right to do so, sometimes! About Homophobia: I don't understand the fuss, let gays be gay about their life!
    Loved this article: it is more maxiavellian than the leftist one (which was more like a comedy), it bites more too!

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    Replies
    1. Hi Ana :D!

      "Ahahahahah, Max...Max...Max, I always suspected that some right wingers' support for Israel was based on the desire to ship all Jews there ahaha, they are that afraid of us, hein? Well, at least they changed their mind and don't want to do like Hitler."

      LOL some are afraid and jealous too. Hitler ruined things for many but secretly many many rightists agree with him.

      "As for immigration, I agree with Joe: the right wing confuses everything concerning immigrants...but let's face, sometimes they are right to do so, sometimes! About Homophobia: I don't understand the fuss, let gays be gay about their life!"

      Sometimes they are right to be confused about immigration, how come?
      LOL I agree with you: live and let live.

      "Loved this article: it is more maxiavellian than the leftist one (which was more like a comedy), it bites more too!"

      I am glad you loved it, thank you *bowing*. Yes, this article was more piercing, I think...

      Ana, thank you ever so much for your fabulous comment :D.

      Cheers

      Delete
    2. Max, they are right because they keep the left on its toes. If the left has its way our countries will be filled with immigrants, many under the refugee status, with no skills who will strain our social security systems. Immigration should be done selectively in a way that will benefit us.

      Delete
    3. Ana,

      I see what you mean now. And you have a point there, I must say.

      Cheers

      Delete
  3. Replies
    1. Hi Anonymous :D!

      "Spectacular!"

      Thank you *bowing*.

      Cheers

      Delete
  4. Applicable in all the three situations: “Make the lie big, make it simple, keep saying it, and eventually they will believe it” – Adolf Hitler

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Rummy :D!

      "Applicable in all the three situations: “Make the lie big, make it simple, keep saying it, and eventually they will believe it” – Adolf Hitler"

      You caught my point in utter perfection. It had to be you (imagine me singing that song to you)!

      Rummy, thank you so much for your sharp mind :D.

      Cheers

      Delete
    2. Or, me croaking it to you in Louis Armstrong style!

      Delete
    3. LOL wow...you do know how to croak, Rummy :)! I love Louis Armstrong; well, I love jazz (and Bebop) in general... :D

      Delete
  5. Though strawman-rightist's logic is questionable in the first example, the underlying belief that we should promote our own people over foreigners is sound. We should all try to better our own situation; one way to do this is to better the situation of our country.

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    Replies
    1. Hi Vid :D!

      "Though strawman-rightist's logic is questionable in the first example, the underlying belief that we should promote our own people over foreigners is sound. We should all try to better our own situation; one way to do this is to better the situation of our country."

      I understand where you are coming from. And I don't disagree that politicians have the obligation to better the lives of those who elected them (and by consequence of the country they serve) however, in the process of wanting to do just that they often come out as racists and seem to forget that immigrants are people too...and because of conservative values they should be & act better than that.

      Vid, thank you so much for your fabulous comment :D. I missed you, man.

      Cheers

      Delete
  6. I will need to ponder further the notion of being both Pro-Israel and anti-Semitic. I am not one to compel Jews to move to Israel, but I do make an exception for Jewish lawyers. It would really be best to send them to live in West Bank settlements. Let them use their tongues to make peace with the neighbors! ;-)

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    Replies
    1. Lol lol lol lol lol adored it! And I agree lol lol lol.

      Delete
    2. Hi Looney :D!

      "I will need to ponder further the notion of being both Pro-Israel and anti-Semitic."

      I never thought it possible myself, but apparently it is *nodding*.

      "I am not one to compel Jews to move to Israel, but I do make an exception for Jewish lawyers. It would really be best to send them to live in West Bank settlements. Let them use their tongues to make peace with the neighbors! ;-)"

      ROFL ROFL ROFL that was a very good one! LOL you kill me, Looney! LOL LOL LOL LOL *hand on my stomach*.....

      Looney, thank you ever so much for your input and humour (you know I love it) :D.

      Cheers

      Delete

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